“Academics get paid for being clever, not for being right.”
- Donald Norman
The worst academic papers is notorious for using complicated words, impenetrable theories and name dropping. It makes academia feel like it’s a closed shop or religious cult where you can’t get on unless you know the secret handshake and use the right jargon.
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child.
I can't make head nor tail out of it."
- Groucho Marx
People have repeatedly exposed bogus academic writing. Take the notorious Sokal affair in which a physics professor submitted a paper, ‘Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity’ that proposed that quantum gravity is a social and linguistic construct. (A variant of The Onion’s Intelligent Falling satire, perhaps.) Or SCIgen, a program created by MIT graduate students that randomly generated fake scientific papers. My personal favourite is the paper: ‘Get me off your fucking mailing list’.
This is why I enjoyed this article so much: How To Deconstruct Almost Anything. This article is also the source of the Donald Normal quote at the top of this post. The author highlights some of the warning sign words, including:
He says:
What you have is rather like birds on the Galapagos islands — an isolated population with unique selective pressures resulting in evolutionary divergence from the mainland population. There’s no reason you should be able to understand what these academics are saying because, for several generations, comprehensibility to outsiders has not been one of the selective criteria to which they’ve been subjected
He pulls back the curtain to reveal how one of the evolutionary spandrels actually works. Here is his formula for deconstruction:
Of course, it’s possible to write succinct, readable and yet profoundly academic papers.
Check out my article: How to write for a non-technical audience. Conversely, if you’re trying to pass yourself off as a hacker, check out: How to write like a hacker!
Here are a few more suggestions:
What is true of academic writing is true of marketing copy as well. The only difference between academics and marketing flacks is that we get paid for being persuasive not for being clever.